Musing

I've been reflecting lots lately, but then I think in this strangest of years, 2020, so have many others.  Musing prompts a natural pause, a moment (or several) to stop, think, perhaps peruse and do, or not do, as the case may be and realise where we've been, what we've done and how this might inform the next stage.  One of those reflections was reading back over past blogs when I was studying for my masters degree and reading how they helped me to fathom out things and make sense of whatever I was trying to make sense of - so with 'thought in hand' and keyboard at the ready, I am here once more writing a blog and reflecting.  

I am no longer a MAPP student as cited in my previous blogs, I am in fact an extremely proud MAPP graduate and look back on my Middlesex University work based learning days with great fondness.  The skills, information and independent research that I learnt on that journey have continued to inform my everyday life both personally and professionally.  The experience also continued to quench my thirst for learning, something that I seem to have an insatiable appetite for (as long as its not maths of course)!  Since graduating I gave myself some breathing time for a couple of years and allowed the process of this level of learning to settle and inform my work.  

In early 2019 I was off again on the learning curve and started to study hypnotherapy and counselling skills.  That has been incredibly interesting and promoted my understanding of my own, and other peoples behaviour.  In order to progress and develop as a skilled hypnotherapist, I had to study for several months, 18 in fact, and work with case studies before successfully qualifying.  Throughout my hypnotherapy training I would naturally pick up on similarities that I had experienced before, writing journals, writing essays, researching practitioners, enjoying the process and the 'new' knowledge, experiencing those feelings of 'feeling out of my depth', but like before in my MAPP days, I did it, I survived and I am now a qualified practicing hypnotherapist and able to help others achieve and overcome whatever is holding them back - that's a great and wonderful feeling and I'm looking forward to my therapeutic journey.  

I am continuing with my learning journey and am now training to be a counsellor in addition to being a hypnotherapist.  Once again, those demons of not being able to make sense of theories and practitioners have their moments of rising to the fore and making the homework tasks seem somewhat stressful.  However, what I noticed the other day when I was preparing for a staff presentation on 'Curriculum Review', is that already my knowledge and understanding of the theorists linked to the counselling world, informed my delivery of the presentation with a more considered approach towards my audience; I prepared with the thought in mind about different human behaviours, the different ways in which we view the world.  This may sound strange, because it's a well know fact that there are different styles of learning, but, I personally, have not considered 'human behaviour' in the way in which I do now as a result of my early counselling training.  So that got me thinking even more, and more mindful questions were being asked in my psyche, one of which was "why don't you go back to writing a reflective journal/blog?" Reflection is such a powerful tool that 'we' inherently have.  It can be our own natural powers of hypnotherapy; those daydreaming moments, pause for thought, positive musing.  Just by taking 'the' time, whatever 'the' time is, we can question, find out and discover. I think it's that bit, the discovery that I love most about learning, they are the 'aha moments', the 'penny drop moments', in some aspects the 'relief moments' that bring about realisation and change within ourselves.

So, as I go off to read some more books and learn some more about counselling theories, I will also start my reflective journal and try to make sense of the various different changes and musing that I'm experiencing at this point in time. 

www.attandw.co.uk for anyone who is interested :-).    

The Artefact..........My students and 'Me'

Apologies for taking a few days to blog post our Skype last Sunday, I have been snowed under with work which has unfortunately diverted my attention away from my MAPP!

How poignant Helen's post has been for us all?  Each of us appears (reading through the blogs) that we suffer this terrible sense of uncertainty and nervous anxiety when it comes to vocalising our thoughts through our blogs.  I can definitely relate to this and feel like it during every Skype session as well.  I get nervous to my stomach whenever we have a Skype session and internally panic in case I say something that's wrong and makes me sound a bit dumb and I definitely hate going first!  So last Sunday was fab for the nerves.............I went first!!!!  However, after reading Helen's blog, the nerves weren't so bad, I just went for it and although I felt as though I babbled my way through my description of what my artefact is likely to be, I felt better for getting it out there and comforted by the responses that were fed back to me. The irony of it all, is that I say to my students ALL the time, words like "just do it, take a risk, have confidence in yourself, no-one's judging you, you won't know unless you try" etc etc, and yet I am the hypocrite who becomes that student when asked to do the same.  So with that in mind, using the experience of being a hypocrite I will use just that to explain my take on what the artefact for module 3 should be...................

I was teaching my students yesterday and they were asking me questions about what their Autumn term assessment project needed to include, how do they present it and what do they have to say and do.  This rang immediate bells with me as their anxiety and uncertainties pushed my mind to think ahead about my own oral presentation and artefact. Swiftly and in seconds my brain shifted away from personal 'me' and back to teacher me, and my response to the students was this; "think about your presentation as being something of a lesson to the audience, remember that not everyone in the audience will know what you've been studying or working on for the whole term and they won't understand unless you tell them the ins and outs of it all".  I gave them the idea that an assessment is the celebration and performance of all that they've been working hard on in each lesson throughout the Autumn term, so it was important to be proud of what they had researched, learnt and achieved and for that reason it was important that they share this with their audience.  I posed a question; How fantastic would they feel after their presentation if the audience left feeling as though they had learnt something and felt more informed of what students were learning in other areas of the college?   They could potentially be responsible for teaching something new to other members of staff and students as a result of their presentation.  The students understood this explanation and seemed to walk away from the class feeling more assured and confident about what they had to prepare and had a better idea of how to do it. 

As I drove home and reflected on the days lesson, my thoughts informed me that what I had spoken to the students about was exactly what I needed to speak to myself about.  That is what I need to do on 19th January........... that is how I understand our oral presentation and artefact should be.  Another analogy I gave the students was that of a tube map, that it was important to stop at each station so that the audience understood the route and would be able to make their own way back should they need to - in other words, they understood how they got to their destination and would be able to recall the route back to the start of the journey. 

I'm probably babbling now, but I've always been a great believer that we learn from our students and this is no exception, by me having to explain to my students what was expected of them in terms of their assessment, I explained my own assessment to myself......I hope!  A classic example of 'do as I say and not as I do'.  Only, I think I need to do more 'do as I say and make it, facilitate it to become the do as I do as well'.

I think, I feel happier now about my artefact and will try to maintain in my own head what I have said to my students.  Any other thoughts on the artefact, oral presentation, data analysis (my Achilles heel and current state of struggle) please share.

Getting Closer

I have had such an interesting week and one that has been full of changes in my environment and offered me time to consolidate, take a step back and take off again.  I almost feel like my whole body and the world around me has been part of a huge 'clean up' plan and the Spring cleaning/re-decorating has been in place - I'm currently still at the dust sheet phase of the decoration but the wallpaper and paint are next in line and that in itself feels good, as I know that everything is in place, even though it is not yet complete!

Last Tuesday (28th) I visited Middlesex University and had the absolute pleasure and indulgence of observing a Graham technique class and attending a lecture on 'A choreographic Idea - Its beginning and possible development' (Cohan, R 2014).  Both of these were fabulous and a real help to my deeper understanding of American Modern Dance.  As I sat observing the Graham technique class I was able to assimilate the intricacies of the exercises and combinations that I'd learnt as a student, and I was able to make much more sense of how and what each exercise was for, and make reference to the literature I've read into the background and knowledge of Graham's choreographic principles and technique. I felt a real connection to the work and privileged to have the opportunity to experience it 'first hand'.  The class was so cleverly choreographed and delivered with such inspirational teaching and attention to detail; I was desperate to be a part of the class and given half the chance, I probably would have joined in. 

My connection to Graham was then endorsed even further when I attended the lecture on choreography.  Now I was sitting in a studio theatre looking at Robert Cohan, who apart from being a revered choreographer and founding Artistic Director of The Place, prior to this, he worked with Martha Graham and was a member of her company for 20 years.  He was among the great modern dancers such as Merce Cunningham, Paul Taylor, Jose Limon, Helen Tamiris, the list goes on as does his incredible and enviable CV; I felt as though I could almost touch the history of modern dance, to an extent I was looking at it, I was looking at a man, a dancer who has been part of the historical context that my research is based on; ............my literature review was coming alive, it was surreal, unbelievable and truly inspirational!  Not least of all, Robert Cohan is a remarkable man and who is mesmerising to look at and listen to, a legend of modern dance.  My Tuesday lunch time was most definitely one of the highest quality!

Being on the University campus last Tuesday, allowed me time to appreciate the student environment, take a breath as it were and enforce time out, away from the books, computer and reflective journal, it was an immense observational day that I have since reflected on and taken stock of all that it had to offer, not only to my research and my teaching, but to me as a person, a dancer.  As we all become closer to our deadlines regardless of what module we're on, it's easy to get caught up with individual stresses and frustrations.  Tuesday allowed me the time to let the dust sheet settle so that I was able to re-connect my thoughts and proceed with the final stages of my research.  It was great to meet with Helen, whom I must thank for escorting me from studio to studio and spending time out of her day to do just that. .  The days experiences fulfilled me on every level and has served to encourage my research inquiry with an additional momentum; a jewel in my memory box that I will cherish and use to inform my professional practice. 

Reflections and Process

I would say that I am naturally reflective and am a person that ponders and mulls through things before taking action.  However, I think this has probably come from  being the same person that also can act on impulse. This I have found through experience, is sometimes good, and sometimes not so good. The result of which all stems from the power of reflection and hind sight!  I believe that everyone in life experiences some kind of reflection and depending on what we do with our lives throughout our day to day activities depends on what level of reflection we choose to work with in order to empower our understanding of the developments in the world around us.

Since the beginning MAPP (DTP) I have been on an adventurous journey of learning; I know things now that I was completely ignorant to before embarking on the course and it has made me hungry to discover more and more.  In terms of digesting these new experiences I have used the power of reflection to inform and consolidate anything and everything that I have done and learnt so far.  It is the 'key' to where I am now in terms of my research study and almost acts as a confidante that enables and supports each task that I have done throughout modules 1, 2 and now 3.  In a strange way I almost find my reflective journal as being cathartic............not sure if that's the same for everyone, but for me I'm able to make notes, scribble thoughts and somehow this makes everything clearer in the long run, especially when I read back over the facts and emotions that have been recorded.  I suppose it's like having a one to one with yourself, re-evaluating what you've written and making sense of it all.  It's part of the process that provides clarity. 

 

My reflective journal is definitely my 'power tool' when it comes to writing essays, it becomes a text in its own right.  One of the hardest things for me throughout the MAPP journey, was having the confidence to trust my own abilities, working autonomously.  I'm not sure if that's part of who I am or the fact that I haven't come through an H.E. route in my education; probably a little bit of both. Nevertheless, my reflective journal has served the purpose of strengthening my ability to act autonomously and grow in confidence.  My advise would be to write anything and everything down that is relevant to the task in hand, how you understand it or not as the case might be (I've got plenty of those in my journal), emotional feelings, what you need to do, what you have done and so on.  No matter how you write it or draw it, too many scribbles are never enough when it comes to the final writing for each module. 

 

The books that I found useful are:

 

Helyer, Ruth (2010) The Work-Based Learning Student Handbook: Palgrave Study Skills

 

Bassot, Barbara (2013) The Reflective Journal: Palgrave Macmillan

 

Moon, Jennifer A (2004) A Handbook of Reflective and Experiential Learning, Theory and Practice: RoutledgeFalmer

 

Good luck to everyone...............exciting and nerve wracking times ahead, but reflect and think how far we've come in our personal journeys. 

 

Enjoying The Momentum

It is a week since our first Skype of the term and the positive vibe that was free flowing from our group discussion has remained with me throughout the week.  I have really enjoyed reading the various blogs and getting back in touch with everyone and my own mind in preparation for the term ahead.  I have posted a question on the MAPP LinkedIn discussion group, so if you get chance I would be grateful for your thoughts, ideas and comments.

My research in a 'nutshell' is seeing if I am able to encourage vocational dance students to work more independently and creatively by developing a greater understanding of their heritage as dancers and utilising the principles and techniques of Modern and Post-Modern dance as a means to stimulate improvisation and choreographic ideas.  I am also interested to see if the research will provide an education that is supportive to their current needs within dance and musical theatre training and if it develops autonomous and more confident dancers.  In my 25 years of teaching, I have seen so many students afraid to follow their own impulses to create movement and when challenged to do so, they usually either back off and don't want to proceed or choreograph movements that are akin to what they already know in terms of the syllabus that they study and therefore create a sequence of familiar steps.  However, in my experience, when the students are either given material to work on that is outside of the 'normal' technique classes or they go the theatre to watch something a little different to their training they are enthralled, inspired and genuinely enjoy the 'different' form that they have been exposed to.  If we were able to prolong time, I would love to be able to learn and endure every aspect and style of dance that is available to us and ultimately pass it on to my students.  For this reason, I have chosen to focus my inquiry of the Modern Practitioners, as it was them (I believe) that have given us much to talk about and much to utilise and develop in the future of dance.

I watched Matthew Bourne's latest production 'Lord of The Flies' last night and found myself not only enjoying such immense creativity but I also noticed the seamless connections that were had from various genres of technique within one production.  There was evidence of classical ballet, contemporary, street, hip hop and pedestrian movement that all worked so well together.  An added bonus was that one of my male senior students was a member of the cast and it was wonderful to see him working alongside the Professional members of the company and delivering Bourne's choreography so well and with great attention to detail.  I couldn't help but imagine, if I am able to give my students some of what Matthew Bourne has got in the way of investigation, historical research and creative confidence then they too, could be the potential next generation of 'Modern' choreographers, or at least well on their way to the creative map of discovery.

Even though I only studied contemporary/modern dance as a mandatory subject as part of my vocational training, I have always been drawn to this style choreographically.  For me, there is so much to be had from this style of dance and I see it more and more coming into play in the 'new' ballet works that are being showcased around the globe, as well as Musical Theatre.  Dance is such a wonderful discipline to be part of and a great place to be; forever changing, evolving and giving 'us' so much to think and talk about.  Like our viral community, dance is the community that will continue to be my momentum and driving force behind these very modern and collaborative times..............Exciting!

Pause for reflection

It has been such a long time since I've blogged that I thought I'd keep it short and get back into the swing of things by imparting a few thoughts before I continue my MAPP discovery throughout module 3.

As I start to write my first blog of the term, it seems unbelievable that for those of us on module 3 it is the final term of our journey..........Argh!!!  The prospect of being in the final term is one of mixed emotion and not unlike how I felt back at the start of module 1; excited, scared (in a good way) the kind of scared that allows the adrenaline to rush through ones veins and ask the question 'why am I doing this to myself'?  The fizz of excitement combined with nervous energy made me think how my emotions and experiential learning are similar to the students that I teach;  A new first years fears of a different learning environment is comparable to the 3rd years fears who will soon be going it alone into the big wide world, and utilising all that they have learnt and discovered for themselves. 

As I reflect on my MAPP journey thus far, I realise that just as the 3rd year students, although a daunting prospect of the unknown, I am ready for the next challenge, into what I hope will be an exciting research project throughout this final term. 

My past informs me that I survived my first year at school and college, and have survived MAPP module 1, I fine tuned my learning in 2nd year college, and MAPP module 2 and I am now nearly ready to fly the nest as I did as a 3rd year student, MAPP module 3............................ now that (although scary) is so exciting and illustrates reflection as a road map and coping mechanism to what I feel are natural anxieties.  I am able to nurture and learn from my past in order to move through the present and aim towards the future.  This pattern of reflection also strikes a chord with my research topic as part of my study is looking at our heritage as dancers with a particular focus on how modern and post-modern dance can inform empiricism and creativity in dancers of today. In other words, looking back, learning from the past in order to inform today! 

I definitely feel 3rd year like and can not imagine what I will discover throughout the research process but hope that I prove to myself that I can do it well and that I am ready to take on and validate the unknown! 

Light Hearted Moments

I have been making good use of the latter part of the half term week and done as much reading as one can in-between essential chores and a little 'free' time.  I have to admit the 12 hour stint was a little ridiculous as it took some time before my eyes were able to properly focus again.  However, within the schedule of hard-core reading I have been able to observe a large amount of words that took me back to what was a much talked about and very funny television advert in the 1980's.  For those of you nearer to my age, this reflection may bring a smile to your face as it did with mine whilst you're passionately and desperately trying to get to grips with paradigm. 

There used to be a series of television commercials advertising the services of BT which starred Maureen Lipman as an extremely expressive and proud grandmother, who for the purpose of the advert was always on the phone to her friends boasting about her grandson. One in particular from the BT series is when she is on the phone to her grandson and to her disappointment he has evidently failed his exams, however, hanging onto the notion that he's passed his sociology the tag line to the scenario which had great comedy timing was Maureen Lipman declaring how clever he was because............."he's got an ology".   Admittedly it is one of those situations where you had to be there to appreciate the humour, but after all my 'ology' reading and getting to grips with meanings and definitions I thought I would share an 'ology' moment with you. (I hope the link works......my first experience of sharing links and no ology to show for it)!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NK5-2fPyCjA

Let's hope that we too get an 'ology' at the end of all this and someone (most likely our nearest and dearest) can boast on their phones about us!