The majority of my thoughts, reflections, reviews and mental proposals happen in either my sleep or driving to and from somewhere in the car. It's always so fluent, in detail and makes perfect sense. If only I had a device in my brain that could record it all for later, in chunk size pieces - I'm sure that would be a great advancement on my contributions to my journal and AOL's. In actual fact, life in general would surely have more clarity, if this were the case?
One of my subconscious thoughts in the early hours was about perfection. I had magnificently written an entire passage on the reasons why we as individuals seek perfection and why it will never be. In my waking hours when I tried to bring the perfection self-debate to the fore I couldn't quite remember the exact details. I think the point that I was making to myself in my slumber, was that to strive for perfection was a positive, aspiring to do one's best, but to let the need for perfection rule me, was only to be one of disappointment and one seldom achieved.
My module 1 journey, is a little like my subconscious perfection; desperately seeking to do well, achieve at every task, immense self pressure. In reality, I realise that in order to achieve my best and take control with an element of calm, the journey has to be faced with an understanding of 'up's and down's, clear thoughts and muddy thoughts'! Sometimes, the thoughts and work just flows and other times I still spend hours and hours desperately searching for something in my brain to make sense. It's often thought that dreams have a meaning, it's possible that my one about perfection was provoking me to think more closely to the task in hand and take each day and thought as it comes. I hope so anyway!
I have recently bought another book which I highly recommend 'The Study Skills Handbook' by Stella Cottrell. As I work my way through the book I think I might be able to research a little further into my dream about 'perfection'.
I can certainly relate to your thoughts on perfectionism. I know that putting myself under great pressure to achieve, is not constructive but still continue to do it. Interestingly, I didn't feel like this when I was younger and costed along through my initial training and education quite happily, completely oblivious to my learning process. Perhaps that's simply a natural part of maturing but maybe not, as I know many very young dancers who strive for 'perfect' ideals and place great strain on themselves physically and mentally, as a result. I also wonder if the type of people who are drawn to dance careers are natural 'strivers' who are perhaps slightly predisposed towards a trait of perfectionism due to the nature of the training and discipline required in the art form?
ReplyDeleteI really agree with that Rose that the link is from the nature of the discipline, I think also why some don't continue, with the effect on the mental and physical.
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